Like sports cars and skyscrapers, big-cock watches are sometimes thought to suggest that a man has flaws elsewhere. If you wear a monster encrusted with 46 mm gemstones on your wrist, then it may make people frown for the wrong reasons.
But that is 2018: year of the photo opus Instabrag, Gucci Maximalism and Trainers. The laws of attraction change every day. Which begs the question: what do women actually think of your watch today?
Well, we have an answer. Kind of. Good people from Montreal watchmaker Montredo have interviewed women aged 20 to 39 to glean a feminine opinion on your luxury watch, and this suggests that in fact, the rules have not changed much.
Minimalism is always the best way to mark interest. Of all the watches women were invited to rate, more subtle pieces such as Nomos Tangente and Junghans Max Bill Automatic came in first, reaching respectively 85% and 74% approval rates. Then there are the classic sports watches: your Omega Seamaster and Rolex Milgauss.
The Prestige lines of the last two brands did not perform as well as expected, with the Speedmaster Professional “Moonwatch” and the Rolex Submariner. only just hit 50 percent. The Oyster Perpetual Datejust was also found under water, with a meager 45%. Too bad for iconic watches.
And, if your watch is of the peacock variety, then it’s a firm left sweep. Hublot’s Big Bang Gold and Royal Oak’s Audemars Piguet – two more imposing watches than a Donald Trump rally – found themselves near the bottom of the pile. It seems that it is not always bigger.
They were not the worst. The classic square watch – often presented as a “trend” at every Baselworld run – will be of romantic interest. Reverso Jaeger-LeCoultre and TAG Heuer Monaco were at arm’s length, scraping barely 24%.
The lesson here? Stay simple. Just because you can spend a fortune on diamonds and gold does not necessarily mean you should. Nomos and Junghans may lack traditional luxury watch manufacturers, but it’s a good thing: you have a clean, sober design that will age better than a diamond-encrusted piece and, better still, these brands often exceed their price
So the next time you hope that a date will take you somewhere, make sure the action of your wrist does not let you down.